The Prescott Dog: Hazel Howls

Hazel Howls  Editorial

Hazel Howls

Dear Rocket Red Dog Journal:

The Lecture

Well, leave it to me to try to ask a couple simple questions and end up getting “the lecture” from Tucker. 

I’ve always wondered how some dogs break their ears so that they always lay down instead of standing straight up for maximum “hear-ability”. I thought Elle would be the best one to ask since she came to us with bent ears when she was a little puppy, and she might remember more clearly than the “advanced in age” Tucker. 

So...I’m laying on the couch and Elle is below me on the carpet, working some loose threads on the bottom of the couch. Between her chew, chew, pull, pull, and flailing her front paws all the way under the couch, I asked her if she broke her ears herself, or if someone else did. Was it an accident? Did it hurt? 

While I was waiting for an answer (Elle had nabbed some threads and was busy chewing them like bubble gum), Tucker stood up and walked toward me. 

“Oh boy.” I thought, “I’m in for it now.”

As if on cue, Tucker and Elle decided to both talk at the same time ­– Elle in a half-mumbled whisper (with her muzzle under the couch), and Tucker in his best, “I’m the sheriff ‘round these parts” authoritative voice.

The authoritative voice declared that retrievers’ ears were not broken. “In fact, they are very advantageous for working dogs, but maybe ‘couch hogs’ are too ignorant to appreciate that fact...and why are you asking such questions of a puppy...putting such ideas in her young mind...and I’m not that much older than you...” Blah, blah, blah. 

The other voice, “Mmmmnnph, chewchew, Why...curly tail...mmmmphmmm...drags across your back...chewchew, would drive me crazy to...chewchew...have that tail.”

When Tucker finished (Elle being busy with new threads), he walked away. I closed my eyes. Wished I was in my limo...just riding.

Total Disc Confusion

We found out recently that Dad used to play Disc Golf on the other side of the Mississippi before he returned to the southwest. So he bought some discs at A Greener World Disc Golf store and made some new friends there (they love the four-footed too). Then Mom bought some practice baskets for the backyard.

So, usually whenever Dad throws something, we’re supposed to get it and play “keep-away” or “tug-and-chew.” Let’s just say that, this time, there were a lot of shouts of, “No, No... Leave It, LEAVE IT!”

Mom had to buy one just for us, made of fabric with rubber corners. We like it, but we still get confused. Often. 

I must state here, I really don’t see why Dad was so picky about us chewing up his “drivers”,  as he seems to be chewing them up pretty good on the course.

The Barking Vitamins

Dad tried some new vitamins recently. This created a mystery sound in the house that Tucker and I figured out the first day of hearing it. Elle, apparently, not so much.

Sometimes when Dad got up to walk out of the room, we would hear this faint barking. Like three or four times. 

Elle was very intrigued, and would look everywhere for the source.

Dad thought he was coming down with something, so he took more vitamins – the new ones. This immediately increased Elle’s confusion. She just could not figure out where that barking was coming from.

On a particularly hot day, Dad came in from working outside for a shower. Elle quietly followed.

Did I mention that now that she’s grown more, Elle carries with her a broad, very black, very “morning-moist” retriever nose? 

As Dad was jumping around to pull off his sock...there was a bark. Faint, but still a bark.

Elle said she stepped forward to pursue it, but instead nailed Dad in the thigh during his return to the ground. Sock in hand. 

The cold and surprising contact on Dad’s thigh helped drive his head into the leading edge of the half-opened closet door. A very loud and short vocalization echoed out of the bathroom right as he landed back on the rug.

Tuck and I raced off the bed to see if Elle was going to get a lecture. As we skidded in, we found Elle in her sit position, looking confused.  

“Hey guys, I tried to solve the mystery, and Tucker? I must report I still don’t know if small animals are involved. Target was not identified or acquired.” 

I expected Tucker to say something like, “At ease”, but I was snorting from trying not to laugh. I guess Tuck was too, since he said nothing. 

Elle’s tail swept back and forth across the shower mat in the hopes that there would be some form of praise. Dad, holding his head in one hand and his sock in the other, used the latter to roust us all out of the bathroom. 

Elle was disappointed, but remained hopeful. Tuck and I resumed our previous positions.


When Dad came out, he went straight for his work boots (be still my heart). Then for his wallet. Then...Truck keys. Then...(oh my gosh)...OUR HARNESSES! 

Limo time…I gotta go now!

Hazel Bazel Rocket Dog

P.S. Don’t forget to have a great summer, with lots of wagging. Also, pick your vitamins carefully.

Hazel Howls

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The Prescott Dog

P.O. Box 11868

Prescott, Arizona 86304